Welcome to catch-22

[theUF]

Just my take on it;

I have given her space, been polite, agreed to the numbers of visits, length and place, you couldn't find a more agree-able person than me in North America. 5 months of changed, near-perfect behaviour.

I agree you need to show the better you, but remember to not swing the pendulum too far.
You have opinions of your own. If some of them really matter you can make them known, but maybe at the "right time" in a calm and civil manner. Don't hold them in and then do something passive agressive, chances are she will see through it.

Maybe having to give up 50% of the time our son to me, will make my W reflect upon what she is doing.

I guess it's called the "gloves off" stage.

I know it's out of context, but these two quotes together equals bad territory.

Of course you want more time with your S, I do too.
But, I'd say wait until things calm down.
If you do it know when gloves are off, I'm guessing she will see it as you trying to force her hand.

If she sees it as you forcing her, even if she comes back she will resent you for it.

And;
she will believe you being so kind and agree-able was all a game.

I asked my X "Would you be open to discuss me having more custody when he gets a bit older? Not 50%, not necesseraly 40%, but maybe somewhere in between. I miss him and want to be there for him. At least we could discuss it after you think about it"
She lost her d@mned mind! Cried, yelled, the works.

Later she said in these exact words "well, I just lost it when you came and demanded 40% custody"

So even if you say one thing, they hear what they fear. Lol.


Sorry if I come across as harsh, but I think she will see the near perfect you and then she will see the man she thinks is using S as a weapon. She will think you just act nice b/c you're too afraid of stirring things up.

And forgive me for the choice of words about my son.

I called my son "the kid" when I joined up here. It didn't mean anything. I was talking to a bunch of strangers on a public site on the internet, I was a bit uncomfortable. But people found my choice of words weird also. Don't worry.