Moving the blanket away from the castle

[bustingout]

Tori, MK KG, Ruby, SS Thank you fo your posts and Happy Thanks giving to you all my dear dear friends (((( )))))

Tori I agree the feeling of 'being fine no matter what' comes and goes. It does. But lately its mostly 'on' as a feeling. I know it deep down, even if at times I have to dig a little harder to find it. Soon, I won't have to dig as deep, I am sure of that. I have no desire to stay in this gridlock of thought and emotion.

I agree MK that it hadn't its chance to run its course. When he told me, after the emotions settled of course i thought to myself "finally. At least there won't be any more rumors and lies from H bombarding me and they can finally see the reality of what they want" I almost felt, 'just get it over with already'. I know that is very simplistic and very possibly NOT the case (for all I know OW could be the ONE for him), but the previous years of lies ad rumors was almost worse than the truth. I actually have less anxiety for some reason.

H spent a lot of time spewing about me and our M to almost anyone that would listen when this first started. So I also think some people, that don't even know me, but are H's 'new' friends, think 'oh isn't it wonderful that H has finally found happiness with OW...did you hear what a B!tch his W was????' (yep, those are the kind of people my H hangs out with now. ) So I am sure that helps sustain the R with OW too.

Anyway, like we are taught, its not in my hands. Being our best selves is on our hands.

And I am thankful today for the strength I have found from within to face my biggest fears, learn, grow, move forward and become a better busting and a better parent.

I am thankful to you all, my friends here that that have been lifesavers to me.

I am thankful for this forum and MWD for the skills and tools she has taught us about.

I am thankful to H for my two beautiful angels and for him, in his own way, helping me find this path. My path.

I am thankful to God for the blessings I have received even if I didn't know they were blessings when I was first given them.

Love you all. ((((( )))))