Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone is having the best Thanksgiving weekend possible given our individual circumstances.
My girls told XH they wanted to spend Thanksgiving with me. They told him he has family, and OW and felt bad leaving me alone. XH completely flipped his lid, and shunned his own daughters with silent treatment and scathing remarks to D13 yesterday. Today was a little better, but he was still silent and obviously very upest. Of course, I got spew too. It was all my fault, and of course I will hog all the Holidays and he only gets whatever I will let him have. So I said " Im sorry you feel that way because that's not what Im trying to do".
I knew it was a matter of time before he started in on his kids with the same emotional blackmail he's always done to me. However with his behavior, any last hope I had for some sort of healthy friendship completely died within me yesterday. I mean died. I don't ever want to speak to that man again.
On another note, I almost had a date last weekend, but this guy flaked out and never called back to confirm. As it turns out I was relieved because I could tell this was going no where, though he's a really nice person.
I think I might give eharmony a try and see what comes. I know what kind of relationship I want, but I think what Im really trying to figure out is if I want a relationship now. I can tell that maybe my perceptions of a new relationship are jaded from my 21 year relationship with XH. I seem to think any relationship would end up with me feeling enslaved, unappreciated and not comfortable being myself. Im expecting any new relationship to be unhealthy.
How on earth does a person shake that off? Still more work to do on myself I can see!
