Oh God- you sure are rite. the closure is the killer. i just got a text - he's "running late" with his dad. what a load of lies this man is. i had some feeling of something- i was surprised to hear his dad other nite referring to their meeting - i'd assumed it WAS ALLLLL LIES.
honestly- i think ow is in town seeing her parents and is either meeting up with him- or somethign. that is my personal thought. i'm not allowing myself to envision it - yuchkkkkkkkkkk........ i know i'm not supposed to think about what he's doing- yeah rite. oh well- am endeavoring to not obsess- best of luck in the future .
AT THIS MOMENT- i cannot imagine how the heck i "don't speak" when he shows up- i'm going to try and just be somewhere else- maybe i'll take baby to park & library- and just not be there. how in the world he can look at himself in the mirror or even stand himself ( in general) - i do not know -
i'm thinking happy thanksgiving- i hate you- thank you & drive thru please.
will be a miracle if i keep my trap shut and don't tell him what a total pos he is. repeat after me- stfu - stfu -
like i need lies via text now- the wonders of technology.
OKAY- END OF RANT. I KNOW- IT'S pitiful sn't it???
I just - spent morning cooking with my sister & neice. it was pleasant - had some wine- laughed a bit. my sister was trying a new recipe and being sooooo careful over such goofy stuff- i finally couln't watch any more. for God's sake- it's an apple pie- it's not brain sur4gery???!!! it was more funny than anything else- but sooooo slow going and sooooo painful - - - just difficult to imagine cooking like that - or doing anything in the world soooooo carefully & painstakingly. yikes- can you tell i'm kind of person that adds stuff to recipes- tries it this way or that way and has tyrouble sticking to any recipe (exactly_)! .
oh well- poor woman- thank Goodness i don't live in that "land" - i'd explode
i don't know- i sure hope tomorrow i am calmed down and have a nice day- i'm going to if it kills me.
speaking of killing.... naw, just kidding. this jerk is definitely NOT worth going to jail for.
i haven't "got it together" at all unfortunately. don't we ALLLL WANT to have our youth & lives back??/ and who among us enjoys "answering" ao anyone !!!
i liked your comment about some woman who was letting her h try and fix the r , she'd given up and didn't want him.
hoping to reach that point (some day soon - some hyear soon ) (in the end!!!) - i'd love nothign more than to know someday he actually regrets it all - most of it- all of it, whatever.
i've thought about how easier it would be if he died too- the thing is - he wouldn't have chosen it. (unless suicide- but never ever would be - loves himself too much) - this business of him choosing to inflict this sort of pain upon me- rat that he is- is the problem. HE CHOoSEs IT - HE IS DEALING IT OUT- since i'm incredibly petty in this circumstance- i sure hope he pays like hell someday for it all.
oh yeah- not very good Christian attitude is it? oh well- i'm reserving the ritte to be an unreasonable b_tch here in rant-land - so i'm leaving it stand.
HOPE YOUR HOLIDAY is really nice and if you experience any unpleasantness - that it's small and "doable".
we can do this - rite??? . we can enjoy our holiday on some level- and not let these jerks bring us down (to their level) or in general. right???
now- i'm going to go play with this baby and not (i hope) think of this idiot - (oh no- i'm not doing very well with not calling names am i? oh well- not like you don't know me at my most petty and ratty) .
i'll do better after the holidays i'm sure (?).
keep the faith- and have a good thanksgiving. maybe later i'll have something intelligent to say and not so rantie.
i like your drop-dead-buddy outlook you have.
i'm going to keep that thought and work on it- wish me luck with the not talkign thing. i think i can, i think i can...chug chug . if i survive this nite without calling him a giant lying sack of (you know) it will be a miracle. (his favorite phrase by the way- sack of ...) how very appropriate. probably invented it with himself in mind.
