DB'ing Facebook Status Update from MWD

[LITB]

MKB and Busting...glad that you both found it useful.

When my W was still at home I THOUGHT I had detached. But it wasn't until she left that I realized I had indeed not detached and I was still engaging in pursuit behavior, and that it was blocking me from really achieving a PMA. It got a lot easier to detach once she left, and PMA became a byproduct of the detachment and GAL activities.

AS,

There are a lot of things to touch on in your post. To me detachment is interesting. It took me a little over a year to completely detach from the time I found this place.

It got to the point that I felt that my necessary changes had been addressed. Not to mention, R with OM was confirmed. That realization was exactly what I needed to completely let go and accept the legal demise of my M.

I no longer had hope for saving my M. As I type this, crazy to think that this took place at the beginning of this year.

Once I let go, I started living my own life. For me and my children. As far as I was concerned, I only needed to co-parent with my W. Nothing more.

That is when things began to shift in my sitch. My W knew that I was moving on. When we would interact, I was in a good place. No more calculating my every word or move.

As we make our way thru the detachment journey, our heart follows where the head leads. It takes work and it takes time. Then it just happens on its own without being forced.

I believe if you have to ask, "am I detached?", is a sign that you have not arrived.