3 Years after D-Day, part 2. Separated 9 Months.

[Am I Too Late]

S

Thank you for reading my sitch. The GAL is the hardest part for me as well. It is amazing how much time I want to spend with W and family, but not by myself. I don't know why either. My W hasn't hugged me, kissed me or even held my hand since August. I almost wished she hated me, as that would mean she has some emotion toward me. It is all business with her right now.

I don't even know how to read my W anymore. She pretty much knows that i don't jump to reply now and might be getting more resentments against me, but i am just trying to detach. But, i don't want to be seeming rude either.

Even before my W left in February, she still gave me a kiss goodbye every morning, not passionate, but not just a chicken peck either.

One week before she moved out, i was at a friends house and she stopped by to see our S before going to visit her dad who was dying of cancer and she sat next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder and stayed there for 2-3 minutes. That's the most warmth she showed me on her own initiative for a real long time.

She was just here to pick up our S for the afternoon and picked up a few other odds and ends of hers.

Me and my S were having fun playing Frisbee on the front sidewalk when she pulled up, which was good for her to see us enjoying ourselves and laughing.

I didn't follow her around the house when she was looking for her things and i didn't have hardly any anxiety with her here. I did help carry out a small bag and a knick-knack shelf.

Her car kept stalling out when she left. She just texted me that they got home safe. It didn't affect me as much as the 1st time she called her apartment Home, but it still does bother me, not like a dagger to the heart hurt though.

So, i guess i am just journaling my thoughts today.

My S gave me two very big hugs before he left, one in the house and one when he was in the car. That made me feel good.

When i told him she was going to pick him up this morning, he was glad that he could be with her for longer than the 5 minutes he has after karate classes, but he was more excited about seeing her pet snake and possibly holding it.

I posted photos on my facebook page this past Saturdays fun going out to see my brothers band play, but i don't know if she saw it since she blocked me from hers 2 weeks after she moved out.

Later today, I will finish some minor revisions on an estimate i have done and send it off to the building owner. I will meet her and my S at this evenings karate class to pick him back up.

My car is still not running, even after i had the valve cover gaskets replaced and had the fuel pump replaced. It's become a money pit now.

Tomorrow is T-Giving dinner at my sister and brother-in-laws home.

Ed