New to the forum, WAH 10/3/12

[notsurewhat2do]

However, you also cannot protect them from the fallout. You will have to try to help your D adjust. Beyond that it is not your concern. So if it turns out that she lets fly on your H or OW and tells them how she really feels then she does. There is a fine line between trying to protect them and also trying to let them have some independence and realize that their feelings are different and separate from yours and like it or not you don't control those either.

Thanks - Yes, DD is very strong willed. She found out first about OW and called Dad to confront him. BUT, she feels such loyalty to us both that I think she keeps a lot bottled up for fear of hurting us both. I've also kept a lot of my feeling from her and finally had a melt down Friday night on the way to a Football game. She asked why I was "always up in H's busines when he wasn't in mine". First it made me mad, but then just so unbeliveable sad. I broke down crying telling her that this man has been my life and best friend for 22 years. That I miss him. And I don't ask questions to know his business, I ask because I still care. It was probably good for her to see and hear that. She is protective of me. BUT like I said, she is very strong willed and has made a statment that she'd like to talk to Dad about everything but wasn't sure how. To be a fly on the wall when she does!

I really could wait forever huh? Just got to get the lawyer to send quit claim deed, he didn't have it ready when we were there (I had to resend the property description). I'm going to ask him again Monday to send it so I can get H to sign and just have it in the file so it's ready to go when I do decide I want him to file with courts.

Thanks so much for the response and advice. I know I'm not the only person to go through this, but it feels like it sometimes.