This is me convincing myself I'm ok to turn away from him, it's ok to not have expectations, justifying that I don't "want" to love him anymore because he scares the sh!it out of me.
But that IS OK!! DB'ing is self-discovery. We work on ourselves initially because we hope to get our M back together, but often along the way we rediscover the person we really are that got buried under years of parenting and caring for others. Once we find ourselves and get our self-esteem back, then we have to take a good, hard, objective look at our M's and decide where to go from there. I went back and read your original post and your H has been in a fog for three years, right? You've stuck it out a long time waiting for him to change, but he may never again be the person you married. So you may be at a crossroad where you have to ask yourself if you want to continue trying to make it work with this "new" person or do you need to take another path. There is no right or wrong answer, both choices have advantages and disadvantages. You have to choose the one you feel will give you the greatest chance of becoming a better you.
