I have absolutely no advice to give you as I am cycling myself. But you have my empathy and support. It is always a bit of a mirror to read Snodderly's words.
For me, I want to believe that if he is being nice that means he is moving toward me. My head says "don't be stupid". The truth is, I almost wish he was nasty. Then I would not always feel that I am trying to separate the garbage from what is real.
Right now, I have found boundaries particularly difficult so congrats if you have determined and can set and enforce yours.
You spoke of a "fix" in an earlier post. I am scheduled to spend a day with my SO and I think I am dreading it more than anything. We always have fun - what hurts is when that does not lead to any more progress. Yech.
