Back Again #3 GAL sister!

[Sweetbriar]

MKB23...I had to respond to your post, as I have a D14 Going through these same meltdowns. It has been very difficult to handle and see because we naturally want to make our children happy and safe all the time and when their dad walks out, we cannot fix that.

I can tell you what I have been doing to help her, although we still continue to have moments of what feels like insanity:( I am constantly telling her that her dad does love her and that he doesnt want to be with me, but still wants them in his life. Its hard to say sometimes, because in my heart, I do feel like he left all of us in the stranded state of shock. She lashes out as well and says she doesnt want to hear how much dad loves her anymore...she says the same thing as your son, that dad only cares about himself and OW. In my sitch, there is an OW that her dad spends time with in between seeing them on the weekends and he doesnt keep this info from her and my youngest D who is 11.

D14 is having a hard time with the fact that he spends more time with OW during the week than he does D and she resents him for that. Im scared that this will forever affect the relationship my girls have with their dad and I also have a baby boy on the way ...due in March and he will not even know H, due to his lack of care. My H sees my kids once a week and maybe on a weekend day for a few hours..and that is it. This is the man who was extremely close to them, so the adjustment for them has been very difficult, where the adjustment to him has been easy because OW takes up all his extra time now.

I think its important, that we let our kids know at all times, that we will NEVER leave them and that we will always stand by them, support them and try our hardest to foster their happiness and them feeling secure. This will be something that stays with them forever, unfortunately. They will always look back in their lives and remember the when daddy left and that kills me on a daily basis. The horrible thing is, in my case, my H doesnt care and he continues to tell them how life will be fine and things will get better and he HAD to leave. (all BS)

I hope that your son feels better today. I know sometimes my D is just tired and overwhelmed with the situation and school and any time a friend and her fight, it makes her emotions crazy too! I think some of it is just teenage years...they have so much change within themselves during these years and then they have to handle the loss of a parent as well. Its not fair to them.

We are left to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts while our H's just go on their way. I havent read your whole story, but will now. I dont know if there is OW involved, but I know in my case, it makes things a whole level more difficult for my girls.

Last night, my D14 came downstairs crying..talking about Thanksgiving and how much she will miss her dad this year at the family dinner we have gone to since she was born. H has my girls tonight for a couple hours (his one night a week) and he wanted to take them to his parents..well they both refused saying that he walked out and that he doesnt get Thanksgiving with them. So now, they are going to a local restaurant and both D's are upset that this is how they will spend a holiday with their dad:(

Hang in there...being a mom is hard work...but we have to be there for them through thick and thin...and its hard some days, believe me ....I KNOW!!

SB