I keep read websites with the answers that I want to read.
Have you read DR yet?
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You see she had got breast implants and I was against it, I was afraid she would leave after it was done, I even said that to her, what you going to that and then leave me
Are you always this needy in the relationship? She wanted to get the implants for herself and you turned it into "but what about me?" Can you see how she would perceive that? Because that's not at all attractive.
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Now she is gone off live with her mom, On some Sabbatical, and it kill me.
Have you been giving her time and space or have you been clingy/ needy?
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I know I need to move on, It therapy she said she did not want a divorce or a separation. Should I be the one to push for it.
Wow, you sound really confused. First, why do you "need to move on"? Are you done with the M? It sounds like you want to work on the M. Second, it's a GOOD sign that she said she doesn't want S or D. She's giving you time, use it to work on yourself and show her you can change. Third, don't push for D if you don't want it, because you WILL get it.
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Why is she being such an a-hole to me. I gave her everything, she is the one who shut down.
So you're the perfect husband? You have no faults in the M at all? Seriously, if you were perfect she wouldn't have lost interest. You need to figure out what you're doing wrong and do 180's on those things. And you've got to continue with those changes for months until they become a permanent part of you. And you need to have PATIENCE, it is going to take a lot of time for her to regain her interest in you. Months. DB is about changing YOURSELF to bring your spouse back, it's not about how to trick her into returning. Are you prepared to take a hard look at yourself and figure out what needs to be changed?
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Now I am thinking of calling her on Thanksgiving, and I am not sure if that is a good idea, will it make her angry.
If you do then keep it short. Just call and say "Hi W, just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you're enjoying it." Make some small talk and tell her you need to go.
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she did tell me she 'loved me' but she has not said that in 2 months.
That's typical. Don't expect to hear it again for quite a while.
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i just feel horrible because I pushed and now i really think it is over
No, it is not. It was just a "backslide". Have you read about backslides in DR? Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. Learn from your mistakes.
It amazes me how many people come here talking about how badly they want to save their marriage, yet they can't bring themselves to read one book about it. Not sure if that's the case with you, but if so, that's where you need to start. All the tools are in DR. Get it. Read it over and over again. Live it.
