Heather, Since you have invited him over for the evening of Thanksgiving, I wouldn't change those plans at this late date. I would remain calm and civil while he's there, but try not to take his bait and fall in the rabbit hole. Mlcers tend to send out mix signals and we look for all of the positives and hope that they are waking up...your h is still confused and is bouncing around. Unless he cuts all contact w/the ow and can jump through hopes and do everything humanly possible to prove to you that you can trust him, I wouldn't fall into the hole. He's just not there yet.
I'm going to give you my honest opinion. Just set your boundaries and if he should ask why you are setting them, then tell him, but don't do it up front. Actions speak louder than words and that has always proven the best way to deal w/the mlcer.
Have a nice Thanksgiving and focus on your family for a few days. Nothing is going to change w/your mlcer in that amount of time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
