He's Just Not That Into You

[RegretfulLA]

Well, let's not get too ahead of ourselves. H still maintains that he's "not that motivated" in fixing the R. Today in MC it was all about the betrayal. Today he was fixated on the fact that I couldn't be empathetic to him when he was desperate and hurting. Or that I should have come to him if I was feeling disconnected.

I wish our MC would say to him, "Those aren't realistic expectations for someone who is in an EA." Not that I wish to be let off the hook for any of my past behavior, nor should I be. But I guess there will have to come a point when H makes a decision about what he wants to do about it. Right now choosing to forgive is not on the menu, but until he does that, he'll remain stuck forever, and that is a shame. He's blaming my choices on my character, and I don't think that's right. I blame my choices (at least the second time around) on my lack of self awareness and passive aggressive tendencies towards him.

What I don't get is that he feels that we're "separated" yet we continue to do family things and ML and spend time together talking. He said that he was doing these family things out of convenience, not because he "feels" it. I guess I have to take issue with that because I still maintain that if he really wanted to be separated, he'd move out. And he hasn't done that yet. I sense that he's more confused, and at a deeper level than he realizes.