Did she ever tell you what happened in that week that turned her around?
If I go back and read thru the timing, I think it was when I stopped applying any pressure at all. I stopped asking when she'd be home or if she was joining us for dinner...I just stopped worrying about it. Honestly, I think it has more to do with her wanting "to get along" for the time being than anything else.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
So bizarre. That's similar to my W, after BD but before she left we were working on things- getting along fantastic, great sex (according to her), fun activities both together and with the kids. But she kept saying over and over again that she saw no future in our M and she needed to leave. Baffling.
I know right?! I think the last three months have probably been the best of our M, even with all the issues, but she's still adamant we're getting D.
Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
Hmmmm...
Have you thought about 'No OM whatsoever' as your boundary?
Yep....thought about it and even told her a few months ago that I would not be in a M where he was involved in any shape or form. She works with him so went on and on about not being able to disengage completely overnight, to which I said "Yes, I understand that, but you can start working on a plan to disengage from him over the next few months."
If I allow myself to mind read, I would say in her mind she knows it's a no-go for me, but since she hasn't committed to our M, she doesn't have to abide by it. And I think she sees it as me trying to control the situation, which is an issue of hers (rightfully so given my past behavior).
