I will look into some new types of clothing, why not??? lol. I think i dress 'ok' but nothing very exciting.... work clothes in the day, and a night out, it still tends to be dress pants and a 'nice' top. I will think of you when i go shopping :-) Thank you for your love.
Tori- If you do go to Dubai one day tell me! I could meet you there! Its one of the few direct destinations we have from over here (Sudan). :-)
As for OW...the short story...the tension started over 2 years ago (she and her H USED to be our friends), and then the rumors...and his complete denial. I found out the TRUTH in 2011. It was off and on with them, and then in April this year he told me he was going for a full on R with her (it was EA up until that point). Notwithstanding I was also in complete denial and was doing the whole pressure/pursue thing. OW left and D her H in the meantime. Ugly story, like most of us here. He does not talk about her today, but I know. And he knows I know. The silent truth.
Thank you both! love you ((((( )))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Busting, you're so far away! It's amazing how we're all spread out around the world. I'm guessing that Ruby also lives near there, since she's thinking about teaching in Dubai.
Anyway, the OW story is really ugly. So much for "friends." It's interesting they've kept this going for so long, though, since most of these R don't go past 6 mo. Maybe bc it's been on and off? You said he decided to have a full R with this OW in April, which would put them at the 6 mo mark around now...Hmm. Let's see what happens. I'm sending you all the best and a big big hug.
I agree with Tori. Let's see what happens. Also, if it has never really had a chance to run it's course that could be why it is so drug out. :-) Have a wonderful trip!
Hi Ruby thank you!! Where do you love? Are you close to this part of the world?
Tori it is ugly. I started 'defriending' her and her H when I started feeling her R with my H made me uncomfortable. I never really liked her H. Anyway- my H knew how I grew to feel about her but it just made him more adamant. When the rumours started he lied to my face. He swore on his mother's grave to other people that they were just friends. He was I believe not just in denial fog etc but also trying to justify that his R with her was ok because it wasn't physical then.
They did brreak up at one point. That's when I found out the Truth. I asked him not see her anymore. To seal up our marital walls until we could figure thIngs out. It didnt happen. He insisted on staying friends with her. He just couldn't see.
Of course I continued to pry and plead and cry and beg. I had no DB skills then. I did nothing to help myself.
We became more and more estranged until I pushed so hard. My mom was pushing him, I was pushing him... And that's when he told me he is done and will pursue PA with OW,
Thankfully I found this place shortly afterwards.
And here we are today.
I have been thinking about that timeline you mentioned. I have thought the exact same thing. Time will tell. I know that they have had arguments. I know H is not flying high like he used to. But I sit back and observe now. I get out of his way as much as I can.
I want my H back. But before that, I would just like to have a chance. But I know now I will be fine no matter what the outcome.
Thanks for checking in Tori (((( ))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I hope you have a great time in Dubai. Pamper yourself like the queen you are.
I will be thinking about you and all my friends here tomorrow and give thanks for having you all in my life.
((((((busting)))))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Busting, you said, "But I know now I will be fine no matter what the outcome." That's great attitude. Sometimes you might not feel that this is the case--it happens to me. The feeling comes and goes.
You're being wise to be patient. That's your #1 tool. For now, focus on your trip, and even though you're not in the US, have a happy Thanksgiving :-)
It sounds like your PMA is getting better. Just keep concentrating on you!
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
Tori, MK KG, Ruby, SS Thank you fo your posts and Happy Thanks giving to you all my dear dear friends (((( )))))
Tori I agree the feeling of 'being fine no matter what' comes and goes. It does. But lately its mostly 'on' as a feeling. I know it deep down, even if at times I have to dig a little harder to find it. Soon, I won't have to dig as deep, I am sure of that. I have no desire to stay in this gridlock of thought and emotion.
I agree MK that it hadn't its chance to run its course. When he told me, after the emotions settled of course i thought to myself "finally. At least there won't be any more rumors and lies from H bombarding me and they can finally see the reality of what they want" I almost felt, 'just get it over with already'. I know that is very simplistic and very possibly NOT the case (for all I know OW could be the ONE for him), but the previous years of lies ad rumors was almost worse than the truth. I actually have less anxiety for some reason.
H spent a lot of time spewing about me and our M to almost anyone that would listen when this first started. So I also think some people, that don't even know me, but are H's 'new' friends, think 'oh isn't it wonderful that H has finally found happiness with OW...did you hear what a B!tch his W was????' (yep, those are the kind of people my H hangs out with now. ) So I am sure that helps sustain the R with OW too.
Anyway, like we are taught, its not in my hands. Being our best selves is on our hands.
And I am thankful today for the strength I have found from within to face my biggest fears, learn, grow, move forward and become a better busting and a better parent.
I am thankful to you all, my friends here that that have been lifesavers to me.
I am thankful for this forum and MWD for the skills and tools she has taught us about.
I am thankful to H for my two beautiful angels and for him, in his own way, helping me find this path. My path.
I am thankful to God for the blessings I have received even if I didn't know they were blessings when I was first given them.
Love you all. ((((( )))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
