Last night H got fed up with S16 when the child didn't do anything to be upset with. (IMO) H fumed and fumed. Just before sleep he told me he feels he doesn't "Feel like he fits in with this family." That may well be true. When the kids were little H was never home - either at work or playing/coaching sports 7 days a week from early in the morning until late at night. Then when the kids were a little older he didn't want to be bothered with the noise etc. Recreation time was spent partying with H's employees. Then we had a long stretch where the kids got into sports and H was all about that. Going to games, coaching etc. Now they're all older and H's drifting away from them again. IMO he never did invest in their "person", their individuality. The only time he has consistently been involved with them was through sports. Currently he seems to think that if they don't regard him as the messiah and sit with rapt attention to every thing he utters then they are "useless" and H is "wasting his time".
But.
But now H turns to his 3 kids from his two previous Ms. THEY seem to be dandy and desirable. Never mind that THEY were hardly on his radar screen for most of their growing up. I wonder what they think about Hs sudden change of interest? Please understand, I am GLAD he's reconnecting with these children. I have always encouraged more contact. But to hear about how those kids are his worthwhile kids while ours are not is UPSETTING. To say the least.
Hard to watch our kids realize where they now fall in the pecking order.
Sigh. I have a splitting headache. Have to go Thanksgiving grocery shopping. The kids are looking forward to their favorites on the dining table. So that is good. I dare say, for one reason or another, there won't be too many more times to have the whole fam around the table. I shall strive for the attitude of gratitude for this. And my heart goes out to those who's families must be separate this year due to MLC and other types of discord.
Oh and btw, did anyone else read about the new research which indicates primates experience MLC?
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
