New to the forum, WAH 10/3/12

[notsurewhat2do]

Thank you so much for responding. I lost the thread and thought no body answered.

Today we go visit the lawyer to sign quit claim deed, MDA and Parenting plan. H seemed hesitant to go at first (not giving me a definate answer to when he could come), but now he's okay and asked about address last night.

Still trying to do DB, only initating contact when necessary about DD or house/bills/lawyer.

Thank you AnotherStander ... yes, I'm not going to fling the door open if that chance arises. I didn't the first time and I'm not this time. Circumstances with the OW make it impossible to do that. I'm REALLY good at buring my head in the sand and going about my merry business (or work, house, DD as they keep me busy) so I think I could and would take him back, but then let the wounds of OW fester in my heart. I KNOW I would. So my pledge to myself is to deal with that before making any attempts at reconcillation if that happens.

Funanacdc ... to answer your question ...I'm not sure. Probably both. I can see where our marrige was not perfect, we both made mistakes, but they could be worked on and in time it could be better, but he'd have to want to and I don't think now is the time he can or would do that. AND in the shower I came to the realization that he is possibly using OW as much as me. He is using her to keep him strong enough not to come back. He knows (or thinks he knows) that if he cheated, I wouldn't let him back. Which is totally possible that I just couldn't. So, unlike first time he left (I never found proof of AW) I let him back. Maybe he really is so unhappy with marriage and life that he is using her ... make sense?

Really, thank you for listening. Now that I've found this post, I hope to keep it updated as a "journal".