Put your hands up; it's a wild ride

[someguy1233]

SG my W doesn't wear her rings at all. She took them off about a year ago. Like you it bothered me at first but after some time it didn't. Look at like this bud. You are still married your W is still in the house you two share the same bed she opens up to you and she still touches you so don't focus on the negatives. Many people here would love to be in your position.

Thanks, Leo. I guess it could always get worse... I need to remind myself to take advantage of the fact that she's still in the same house and continue being a strong person.

My W and I haven't ML in a year and at first it killed me but after a few months I got used to it and now Im not focused on that at all. Heck you and your W still hang out at places occasionally. So you see that's another positive. I bet if you sat down and wrote a list of positives and negatives you would see the positive things outweigh the negative things.

I know you hate the uncertainty we all do but I bet if you turn your attention to the good going on and build on them things will work out. I really believe you can do this she has not completely shut you out. Create a little mystery about yourself that will make her wonder about you it even says so in DR. I've told you before and I still believe your W is checking to see if YOU are still interested in her.

I haven't read many stories on here where the WAS was asking how the LBS was feeling towards them.

Not ML is really difficult as well. We're moving in on two months... I haven't had that issue since my teenage years!

I try to create mystery but she always digs into my whereabouts. As mentioned earlier, she gets frustrated if I don't share the details of where I've been or what I plan to do. I don't know how to create that mystery without upsetting her.

Neither of us could comfortably afford the house on our own. If we split, it will be sold. We both make about about the same so alimony isn't much of an issue.

I guess I'm afraid to talk about what I think things could be like if we split. I want her to do that hard work. She can come up with the ideas and a plan. Maybe I'm being shortsighted, but I don't see the advantage of helping her figure out how to split.

Don't be afraid to talk about what things would be like if split because right now at is is "IF". You really aren't helping her figure out how to split all you would be doing is merely presenting the facts. Let's face it the reality is "if" you were to split you would sell the house and you would pay support for your children. I would be hard pressed to believe that you would financially support her correct? Your obligations to her at that point would be over right? That was how I presented it to my W when she told me what she wanted I just gave her the facts. Made her really mad at me but hey if she wants to end things why should you or I still support our ex's financially.

If we were to get divorced, we'd most likely split custody 50/50. We had a brief conversation closer to BD. W has the earning potential to make more money than me and has in the past. It's very possible that she would end up paying me child support depending on her employment.

That's true, Leo. She is at least somewhat open. I know she has her secrets (possible OM). But she does what to have occasional conversations with me, so perhaps that's a good thing.

Nothing you can do about that you stumbled upon something you weren't supposed to see and you aren't seeing any evidence of an A are you? You were through that before like me and I think you know that if something was going on your "gut" would tell you. Trust your instincts they are usually correct. I don't know about you but when a S is involved in an A it's almost like you can feel it in the air when they are around. At least that's how it felt to me.

My gut tells me there is an EA at a minimum. The secretive behavior with her cell phone, long nights out, and cell phone records support my suspicions. I haven't broached the subject with W since the suspected OM is in the process of relocating halfway across the country. I'm not naive enough to think it couldn't continue, but the physical distance may eventually help my sitch.