Put your hands up; it's a wild ride

[leopoldstotch]

Neither of us could comfortably afford the house on our own. If we split, it will be sold. We both make about about the same so alimony isn't much of an issue.

I guess I'm afraid to talk about what I think things could be like if we split. I want her to do that hard work. She can come up with the ideas and a plan. Maybe I'm being shortsighted, but I don't see the advantage of helping her figure out how to split.

Don't be afraid to talk about what things would be like if split because right now at is is "IF". You really aren't helping her figure out how to split all you would be doing is merely presenting the facts. Let's face it the reality is "if" you were to split you would sell the house and you would pay support for your children. I would be hard pressed to believe that you would financially support her correct? Your obligations to her at that point would be over right? That was how I presented it to my W when she told me what she wanted I just gave her the facts. Made her really mad at me but hey if she wants to end things why should you or I still support our ex's financially.

That's true, Leo. She is at least somewhat open. I know she has her secrets (possible OM). But she does what to have occasional conversations with me, so perhaps that's a good thing.

Nothing you can do about that you stumbled upon something you weren't supposed to see and you aren't seeing any evidence of an A are you? You were through that before like me and I think you know that if something was going on your "gut" would tell you. Trust your instincts they are usually correct. I don't know about you but when a S is involved in an A it's almost like you can feel it in the air when they are around. At least that's how it felt to me.