Back to Square One?

[mamabird]

I don't think IC helps H other than making him feeling vindicated about his hostility towards me. I think he paints such a biased and horrible picture of me that he then has them on side.

I think that's definitely true for me too.

Regretful, I found the 'coffee beans' just a few minutes ago in H's study. Not surprisingly, it's an empty tub of ice-cream from our corner shop that he's wedged under his desk.

That's a good one. Reminds me of my 9-y-o wedging packets of gum behind his pillow. I have never seen my H go to those kinds of extremes, but to be fair, we do keep a lot of candy in the house because i have a sweet tooth too, so there's always something around. As Melissa said, maybe you should start doing that (or having something in the house) so he doesn't have to sneak.

As you know, my H also does a little bit of secretive eating but it's usually fast food. Once in a while, it's ok. As you probably know, in this country we have an epidemic of diabetes and other issues related to weight and unhealthy eating. H's mother is quite overweight and his father has 8 stents in his chest because of heart disease. Plus H already suffers from gout, which is diet related. Sometimes I try to take this "it's for your own health" tactic with him, but I'm afraid that nagging only makes it worse.

Here's something interesting. H goes to a parenting group and the facilitator told him yesterday to let S just have a packet of gum (he's been sneaking). Once he has the control he should stop sneaking it and should learn to control his impulses around that. Perhaps this is true for your H too. I certainly remember being a teenager and babysitting and raiding pantries and freezers because we never had junk food in our house.

If you don't want to go to the moustache party, then you shouldn't, as long as that's ok with both of you.