So brief recap I guess is needed. H and I M for 14 yr. R for 18. 4 kids. We split once before with OW. That was the end of 06 and beginning of 07. H has severe depression. He left in Sept. to try to "get his head together" Within a month he was back with XW and had moved her in the first of Nov. Believes he is back with his one true love. For many reasons, I'm not buying this but I am afraid he will get himself in so deep that he won't feel like he can get out. They were M for 10 years or so before we met. He actually was married again in between she and I. But apparently they tried to reconcile about the time we met. I should also add I believe she is married to someone else still. I know she was, but was separated.
So in a nutshell, he came to see the kids on Sat at his dad's (he lives next door to us) We had little conversation. I did state the whole, I am not your enemy stuff. No contact since then. I took D's to their ball game last night. It wound up being a late night. When we got home, I saw he had called house phone twice. Last time at almost 9 PM. We got home about 9:05 or so. Late for us on a school night. lol He never tried my phone though. Apparently he had called S14 earlier in the evening and S was unable to hear or anything due to us being at a game and poor signal. We were actually at different games. But whatever. I am guessing he wanted to talk to kids only since he didn't call my phone. Ironically, he hasn't called my phone in some time now that I think about it. He will text occasionally though. I feel as though his texting on last Thurs (our 14 ann) was an excuse for contact. Basically he asked about bills and online log ins. So far though, nothing has been paid and the log ins I expected to be changed-weren't. I did tell him that night I had plans. When he was here on Sat.(briefly) getting kids and dropping off something to me- he kept walking and looking back through the house. Not sure what he was looking for? So in the meantime, I am trying to GAL -- I have been thinking about H. I really believe he didn't think through our separation. Basically, any time I ask him pointed questions about things that would pertain to the kids and I moving he seems to be perplexed. Like he hadn't thought about that. I think he believes we will just be here waiting for whenever he comes back. Maybe I am mind reading too much. I dunno. That is just my impression though. Some sort of fantasy land where we are always here and just welcome him in with open arms.
Maybe I am wrong but I was glad we weren't here last night. Not because it would have hurt him but the fact that actually GAL includes the kids too. Sort of like - see what you are missing out on?
Anyone have an opinion on this? Also we have not discussed Thanksgiving and he hasn't really mentioned it. He did tell me to go to his Dad's on TG with them. It was a comment in passing. I said I'm not sure what I am supposed to do about his family inviting us and he said to go. He wasn't going. Not sure if he will show or not or if he will be welcomed back into the fold by her family. That would just hurt me but I have no control over it. He has not actually come out and told anyone about their relationship to my knowledge. I don't know if he is embarrassed or ashamed or what. He has had several friends stop by and call asking about him. He hasn't even mentioned anything to his father and mother. I know this because they keep asking me if I am certain about them seeing one another. Which I am. Basically, no one has heard from him and they didn't know what had happened.
So I am having anxiety about TG. Otherwise, hanging in there. Thankfully dreadful Monday is over. Ironically, I seem to have the highest anxiety on days when I anticipate contact from H. I noticed yesterday I really sort of felt it was time to hear from him. Likely we won't again until W or TH. I am not sure what her work schedule is but I think he only makes contact when he is alone. Otherwise, I got nothing. Today is a house day. Meaning cleaning and taking care of things here. Then tonight the BB ordeal all over again. I am still not sleeping. Still concerned about the recent break ins on our road. That is part of my anxiety not sleeping I think.
