I've really enjoyed reading your posts, and find a lot of insight in them. You have been at this a long time!
I understand what you are saying about anger. But, I think sometimes it can be productive. Just like our MLCer, we can get stuck. I needed a few wake up calls about the money he is spending to move me forward. I set up my online banking access yesterday. Today I am going to work on the credit card. I am being very careful not to do this from my home or cell phone, because I have no doubt that he may be checking up on me at any given time.
I realize he could leave me for her. And you're right, if he does then he does. But I'll be damned if he's taking our family's money with him.
And if he leaves, there's a part of me that would be sad and disappointed of course. But there's also a part of me that would be relieved. No more dealing with his mood swings, bizarre behavior and evidence of OW on a daily basis. He can go off and be miserable while he texts himself into oblivion.
He may be self destructing and there's nothing I can do to stop him. I just sure as hell am not going to let me and the boys get taken down too in the process.
Truly am coming to a place where I am done. He can go figure his crap out on his own. In the meantime, my boys and I are going to live!
I wish you the best of luck Being, like so many people around here you seem like such a caring and devoted person who has such love for their family.
No matter what, we're going to be okay
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
