The green green grass of home

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks Bug, I really hope so. Subguy was that to Ruby?
Yes it is sad though but such is life, I guess.

I had a pretty crappy day today. Spent hours trying to get stuff worked out only to be told I needed a different type of paperwork,. Pretty much wasted my whole day,.. Kind of, I just sat there and day dreamed for over two hours. lol the best bit is although H did keep popping in to my head, he was not my main focus.

H called today and we talked for about half an hour. It's nice to hear his voice but it does appear to be loosing it's meaning.
I have been remembering a lot of the bad and not so much of the good. My marriage is over, I know that now. If H and I do ever R, Which I highly doubt, It would have to be a totally new R.

I love the quite. When the kids are in bed or at school, I like not having any electronic noise. I do enjoy music and watching a few shows/ movies here and there but I find the quiet so peaceful, Calming even.

I feel a little bit strange right now. Not quite happy, not quite sad. Not quite content but not quite discontent. I don't feel numb but kinda neutral. I'm not quite feeling afraid but kind of curious.. I'm not excited but not feeling disappointed either. It's kind of like "I just am" If that makes sense?
Yeah, just feeling "strange"