He's Just Not That Into You

[RegretfulLA]

Vero, he was joking when he said it - didn't really come through in the post, but it wasn't as offensive as it sounded. That's the other part of the good here - he used to joke with me like that all the time.

My dad kind of reiterated a lot of the stuff I am already doing, in response to what H said. The thing is, I already know how H feels because I listened to him say it all last week in MC. So then it felt like a lecture from Dad. "Be feminine, be nurturing, you're too controlling, etc." Not that he isn't right about those things, I just don't need them jammed down my throat.

We had another bit of a breakthrough tonight. It started to become an argument but I forced myself to turn the conversation around. It was over something stupid too - my son wants to go to a kids' concert on Sunday and H said, "No way am I going to that."

Well - when he starts like that it just invites a fight and we had a few rounds. He said, "What does it matter if I don't want to go? Don't I get to decide what I want to do?" That's reasonable, and he's right, but I kept thinking, "Why is this bothering me? What's the real issue?" He's been to kids concerts before with no complaints - but only when we go with his friend and their kids.

Finally I got it and I said, "It makes me feel like you think that my idea to go to the concert was dumb." And he said, "Well, I know I need to try not to be so harsh." He got it too. And that was the end of it. I'm not used to actually resolving our differences so it feels particularly good. In fact, before bed we had a nice hug and he reached up so I could give him a kiss.