Dealing with the reality of separation

[Starbag]

I don't know if my H would have the courage to tell me that in person actually. He even told me he was considering coming back and then he blocked me completely out of his life and continued with the OW. He lied to me for almost a year before he finally admitted he was having an A. And before that I thought we were okay....

[PeteWyo]

Well, I'm not sure where you are in your journey, but dwelling on the past will not help anything. When/if your H comes to town to talk with you, no matter what, you have to be in a place where you are ok with whatever he says. I had my little freak out the other day and took a day to mentally prepare myself for this news. I feel a lot better than I would have if I'd gone into that conversation blind. Don't get me wrong, it still [censored]. But I know that I am going to be ok now

[PeteWyo]

Censored? That wasn't even a bad word. Well you get the idea, lol

[PeteWyo]

I have mixed feelings about this. I am sad, of course. I am also curious how much of what I've been doing to better myself was even noticed by W. I am partially relieved that I can move on and start the next chapter of my life with some closure. I am happy that I was prepared either way though. I suppose I am better off, just right at this moment doesn't feel that way. I am a bit lonely at the moment...

[Starbag]

Did you say yes to the D? I'm sure you would feel sad....Take this as a chance to better yourself even more...take the time...sigh, i'm in the middle of this as well. I hope you feel better. Do you still want her back? Some couples get back together even after the D..I'm sure you know about this already.

[PeteWyo]

She's my wife. Of course I want her back. Til death do you part, right?

[labug]

Sorry fuanacdc, that's hard.

Will you be with family for T-giving?

It sounds like even tho you are very sad, which is understandable, you are carrying on with improving yourself.

There are no words to make this better but I'm am sorry for your pain.

[PeteWyo]

Thanks labug, it is hard but I knew this was coming. When she asked for her things out of the safe deposit box, I figured this wasn't far behind. It is just shame that she will never get to see all the things I am doing to better myself and has no idea of what I've accomplished up to this point. At least I will be better prepared to deal with whatever is next. Bittersweet though to lose your soulmate and be a better person. The person I was, was loving, caring and dedicated to my W. Someone out there deserves that dedication, I just have to find them I guess. In my heart my W will always be the only one for me. Given the options I have, I'd say it is time to move on.

[Starbag]

Sorry I don't have a better way to help. I didn't mean to be rude or anything by asking that question though.

[littleGTO]

fuanacdc,
I'm so sorry you are going through this. You deserve the heart of someone who will love you in return they way you love her.

I understand that you feel your W will "always be the only one for me," as I feel that way RIGHT NOW about my H too. BUT, if you open your heart to another R you might be surprised at how much someone can really love you back.

GIve yourself time to heal & enjoy your "new life" w/o wife, but first allow yourself to experience all the emotions you are going through. Someone once said the only way through all this is straight through the pain...there are no shortcuts or long roads around.

By the way, you don't have to rush through the D either...food for thought.