Do I Have a Chance?

[complicated]

I thought I posted earlier but maybe something went wrong. I'm still here. Went out of town to watch D18 play. Think H was mad I went but I went for me and D18. She had to fly back with the team so H drove the 3 hours to pick her up from school. I offered to go with him (because it was late and he has fallen asleep at the wheel before) but told him I understood if he wanted to go by himself which he did.

He has been much nicer and I haven't had any slips in the last week. I have been doing the 180s and think he has been noticing. There have been a couple of instances where I would have pushed for a discussion, but I told him let me know when you're ready to discuss. D15 thinks she should have anything she wants. Me not so much so I would like to come to an agreement on this, so I'm waiting. H usually gives them whatever they want. This has been part of our problem, dealing with the kids.

We also had some work done at the house and he was not quite happy but I was. I am having it redone eventhough it is an inconvience to me (since I'm living there)because at this point it is not a big deal. Before I would have tried to prove my point but I am seeing that it really isn't worth it. I could tell when I told him that it wasn't a big deal to me that we could have it redone that he was a little surprised.

So AS I am trying to stay on course and do the 180s. So far so good and I actually feel better about it. I think he does notice little changes but I know he doesn't believe they are here to stay.

Also had a talk with the MC. I had told her previously I did not think we were getting anywhere. We are having a joint session next time to see where we're at and where we want to go. Just curious to see what H thinks but I too think this is a "cheeseless tunnel". He is still very depressed and maybe he will feel better going but I think I will probably discontinue. I have really thought about a DB coach just haven't pulled the trigger yet.

Really wish I would have bought and read the books earlier. He hasn't mentioned the D word in a long time but I am giving him space which I think he needs.

Thanks everyone for the advice.