first time need help - still (new thread?)

[albamarie]

Hi Nero - You sound so lost, I love the limbo reference...that's exactly were I was a few weeks back, and I totally backslid right into H's traps of spew and confirmation that he's gonna stay an a$$.

I posted like crazy just to keep my crying jag, and mouth in some of control. I gave him an open to spew and feel in control over the sitch and me.

Please, don't loose your cool. Don't talk to him...it's too easy to be lured.

From my experience, limited as it is, when this passes (about a week or 2) you will come out of this feeling really empowered and ready to not care what the jerk is off to. It's like you butterfly into the new lighter you that doesn't even want to care.

That's where I'm at and it feels great to realize after some time in the day, I haven't even thought of him or his sh!t! Thoughts of moving on, looking forward to that one day when I will love again are getting stronger within me.

Now don't gather from this that I'm all together, far from it, I'm just a little lighter and it makes all the difference. I don't know where, what, when about anything, I just know I'm not in a fog today and I love it!

I'm reading some awesome archives here about women who went on with their lives, not even wanting their H's and that's when HE realizes what's really happening and begins to pursue them. ONe women was adamant that she doesn't love her H anymore but the advise given her was to let him try to heal the R. She was really against him, her thread ended without a conclusion. I could never see mine doing that, I see mine as taking the blow and feeling he deserved it!

I am reaching a point where I wouldn't want him back, not like this, not like he was, so what, dipped in chocolate maybe, lol! I have higher goals for myself, and deserver to be loved, and treated with kindness, as do you! I pray not to backslide again, I never want to cry for him again, we are better than this!