In crisis -BIG MESS-help

[Brahmin]

Curious to know what you are doing to get yourself to a healthy place. In your signature, you lists that there had been both emotional and physical abuse.

Are you getting any help for that?
Family, friends, work, exercise, being social

Are you getting any professional help? Therapy/Counseling? This is something that I believe should be at the top of your list to get resolved.

Reading books and talking to family, no professional help, GAL,detachment, sticking to this forum..

Did you contribute to the toxicity of this part of the relationship?
She blames me that I instigate, lots of trigger from my side, money, job, not having good relation with her mom,moving, job lose

These are her complaints. How much of these would you identify to be accurate? I can relate to the money and the MIL issues.

This is a good road map on things to change.

have a decet job, self reliant and can support her and son

What role did you play in this equation?
Mostly trying to compromise and solve things, not have lot of escalated arguments and conflicts and letting go, can say avoidant, passive, non voilant, think through

How can you change what is within your control, to change the dynamic to affect it positively?
Take active role, making decisions and planning things for me and my son as priority over my relation with wife

How are you doing with your progress fixing these things?

I vist my son at daycare every wk and taking a stance on my situation and making my son as priority, looking into legal options and realizing if I should spend any time salvaging and trying to save M when she as W/ mother has no interest to work it. Don't know what else to fix, it's all broken and I am just trying to not damage any more especially son and both of us.