The picture that came to mind when I questioned myself on how anyone earns back trust is the vision of a criminal standing before a parole board. It's their job to figure out if the criminal has changed his thieving ways. But the criminal doesn't even stop back-talking, acting out, being disrespectful and violent while the board is trying to review his case, so the idea of whether or not he's going to steal again becomes rather irrelevant. Perhaps he won't ever steal again, but there are so many other issues it doesn't really matter. The person is not rehabilitated enough to trust out on the street again.
My H actually has to stop the unacceptable behaviors before I can even begin to rebuild my trust. Otherwise, I trust him completely, to continue doing exactly what he's doing.
