RH, I'm really glad to hear you are doing better. Keep plowing ahead!
LB, I don't plan on contacting my W at all unless something important comes up. I will attempt to talk with the boys every day, time and availability permitting.
Originally Posted By: Starsky309
Your wife is going to likely pursue you during your time away. My advice would be to stay dim (not dark), and to keep it about the kids. If she tries to start R texts, e-mails or phone calls, I would advise a "We can talk about this when I'm back. Right now I'm trying to focus on the job assignment, and getting to know 2thepoint again, and figure out what he wants out of the rest of his life." (or something similar).
Starsky, thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind should there be any reason for us to talk. We haven't had a R discussion in many many months and I am not expecting any now. Frankly, I'd be very surprised if that were to happen. I've been pretty dim for awhile now and don't plan on making any changes.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Congrats on the consulting gig in Maine. That is awesome. Is it possible for you to fly your boys out there for a long weekend? are they old enough?
I am so proud of you for keeping your cool around your W disaster of a house. The WAS doesnt even acknowledge that you are destroying more than one relationship when you decide to end a M. You are destroying a home and kids lives and....
It is good that she got into with her Dad. I feel it with myself right now that all this garbage of feelings I have trapped inside has to come up. (Sorry to be gross) but I have to puke out all my petty resentments in order to move forward and move on. Atleast these things are coming out.
Keep on moving and shaking.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Yea 2TP.... She is switching up some tatics.... Just to keep your feet in the water. Like the pool. This is just another one of those. Make sure that you will still jump when she asks. Tries to draw out a little history, a little fix it.... and a little drama. It is a classic move. And when you do not react she will adjust and step it up a notch. And when you finally do respond the way SHE wants... She will pull away as she knows she sucked you back in.
So keep with the dim and knock the 24h rule to just only things that are of minor importance. The rest respond randomly...
Upbeat and simple.
She will be doing this your whole trip.
M40, H39 M17 T20 D13, S12 H moved out 05/09 D filed 1/10
Hello everyone! I decided to pop in just long enough to say hello and provide a brief update on things.
My 3 month consulting assignment up in the state of Maine is just about over. After receiving a 2 week extension, it looks like things will finally wrap up for me the last week of November.
There has not been a lot of movement with my W although she is considerably more friendly towards me than she was last year at this time. Her health has improved significantly considering her near death experience last February. She turned 50 two weeks ago.
My time away has been very good for my mental health and outlook on life. There is something to be said about living near the sea.
Regarding my GAL, well lets see...
* I climbed 2 mountains in NH * Explored an island * Rode a gondola to the top of a mountain * Walked through a pine forest that smelled like heaven * Visited 4 state parks & at least a dozen lighthouses * Had a run in with a porcupine * Walked across a 120 year old swinging bridge * Collected a bag full of sea glass - very theraputic and highly recommended! * Met a friend for dinner and some clubbing in Portsmouth, NH * Stopped to smell a few roses * Did the 3.5 mile loop around Back Cove 3 days out of 5 for 2 months straight * Went to a community fair near a seaside village * Took some amazing pictures * Discovered some pretty good local brew * Went for a walk in the woods and stumbled upon a hunter with a rifle... * Sampled quite a few very good restaurants where Maine Lobster and New England clam chowder are never off the menu * Saw a maple syrup store in Vermont, (Ha! Who'd a thunk it!) * Watched the sun set at least a dozen times * Sat on a rock and stared out to see on many a weekend afternoon * Experienced fall color * Found my smile!!
I'll start a new thread soon and catch everyone up on the sitch and where I think things are headed. Overall, I think I'm in a good place.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
I'm also happy for the break you've been able to get and the amazing things you've gotten to do. Glad you posted!
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Did the hunter give you any deer heads to hang on your walls?
Ha! You are funny Bugsy! Actually, I was afraid that I might become the hunters latest trophy so I high tailed it out of there just as quickly as I could.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Welcome back 2. Glad to read your update. Happy you sound happy :-)
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Oh boy!!! I think there is a R discussion headed my way in the near future. I was at the house today which is a wreck as it has been for months. W still pretty nice to me, though. She has been talking about selling the house as has been her plan/desire for a long time now. I ask her if she would like my help cleaning up the place. And reminded her that the reason I stopped was because it seemed to upset her. She then goes into how hard it is to keep up with things, how I never did any house work, blah,blah, blah, (still a lot of revision going on). Anyway, she says yes, she would appreciate my help.
Then I got to thinking that I am not going to willingly go down this cake eating path of hers without us talking about the giant elephant in the room. So I said that we should make time to discuss US. She said she agreed. So at some point in the next day or so, we're going to have a little talk.
BTW we are all invited to friends for Thanksgiving, which was feeling a little weird to me. But anyway.... Any suggestions about what to say, what not to say, etc.? I have no expectations either way and am at the point where if she said this is it, I'd be ready to move on down the road. So....?
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
