Corri. Sounds like you are doing a great job there. I admire and applaud you. Nice to see an LD person understanding and trying so hard.
Sleeping in the buff is such a great thing. I see how surprised you were at your husbands reaction. You probably can't imagine how much of a wanted invitation that was for your hubby. My wife goes to bed bundled up like an eskimo hibernating for the winter. It makes me feel like she may as well be locked behind a vault. Keep doing what you're doing, sounds like things are turning around.
As others have said...your actions may be regarded suspiciously. Too many times I have had one or two days of good time which always seemed to slip back. This is almost as bad as not having had that time at all, as it leaves me feeling upset because I have once again seen what I could have but it has been taken away from me again.
As to the non-sexual things you do...make sure you understand your partner's love languages. Putting a lot of effort into something that doesn't really register for them will only gain you minor points, and leave you wondering why all your efforts don't seem to count.
I hope things keep getting better and better for you!
When my wife and I started dating, she basically insisted on sleeping together naked. I became fond of it very quickly. Unfortunately, she's since become the flannel pajama type. I decided about a month ago to go back to sleeping naked. She hasn't joined me in that yet, but I'll bet she will eventually - at least if we can ever get past our current (ongoing) sex-starved situation. My sleeping naked hasn't resulted in an outpouring of sexual activity by any means, but I find it more comfortable and it makes cuddling slightly more pleasurable, although not nearly as much as it would if she were naked too.
Corri, you're getting great advice here and I don't think I can really add anything that hasn't been said already. I admire you so much for the effort you're putting into understanding your husband and making your marriage better. Keep it up - you're doing great!
That post brought tears to my eyes; tears of longing. What you wrote should be translated into every language in the world and printed on the first page of every newspaper. That is the “Horndog Manifesto”. I salute you.
If only my wife had taken a fraction of that advice to heart....
That's my H's (LD) once-a-month excuse. If he manages to hold out long enough, it's guaranteed to offer him the perfect excuse to avoid intimacy. Personally, I think it's one of the best times to ML. Other times it's a headache, backache, etc. Sleeping naked doesn't make any difference; nothing does.
I turn 46 tomorrow and my birthday wish would be for someone who wanted to touch me, wanted me to touch them, wanted to be intimate...instead I'm married to someone who offers up the excuse du'jour. I'm just feeling so sad right now.
ND guys are a great mystery to me. I can not understand hw a man can be ND unless there are medical problems. Do you have any clue as to what is going on?
I've been trying to figure out an answer to your question. We've been in counseling for a few months now. The counselor said in our last session that my H doesn't like sex, and he didn't deny it. So, I'm dealing with someone who doesn't like sex NOT a LD person.
I now have to figure out if I (HD) can live with the fact that he simply doesn't want to have sex with me at all, assuming that nothing changes. I don't know if I can do that.
Hey Cemar. My are you talkative. I can tell by the way you ignore some of my comments that you don't get men that are LD. I find I understand my H when I read about your W. My H has a very poor body image. He was the fat child everyone picked on and he turned mean. Trust me when I say he can wait years to say "I told you so" and he has no problem withholding conversations, sex, money, and affection from me. He was the kind of kid that took his ball if you didn't let him play. I was the kind of kid that wouldn't play with you anymore when you did that to me. I am oldest of nine, he is the middle boy of the last three kids with a big gap between the boys and the older girls (10+ years). He did not date in high school and his Mom died when he was 12. He is verbally abusive but never in public. He views everyone, even his own family, as "them". He has to be "right". He will manipulate a situation so he is not at fault. Therefore everything is my fault. We haven't had sex in 5+ years because I don't do the "right" things, I don't ask for sex like a grown woman, if I was any kind of woman I would know what to do, he is pain, he is not that interested in sex and I should be relieved that he feels that way. I tell you it has been so long I am scared to walk in the woods by myself. I breakout in a sweat around good looking trees. He was thin when we meet and he talked about all this great food his Mom made so I cooked. Trust me that was a very wrong move. He started eating a got big again and discouraged. He says I should not find him attractive because he is big. I thought he looked funny when he was thin, I like him big. But I want him to be happy and if being thin is what he wants then cool. Only now for some reason he is convinced that I don't want to be thin and this based on a bad reaction to him telling me how to exercise one time. One damn time I told him to layoff with the directions and the criticism. I be trying to get something he is telling me and he wants me to an expert in 10 minutes. So he hates his looks and makes excuses instead of progress and blames me.
