updating... I have had no face-to-face contact with stbx for 2 weeks. He started to call again every day to ask what time to pick up kids from school after one week nc, but i just say the time and then 'Bye'. He just drops them in the driveway and then drives off.
But today, we had mediation. A 2-hour session. Basically involved listing all our assets and liabilities - pointless really as neither of us has any hard evidence as to what things are worth... but stbx assumes that all we have to do is to agree to his valuations and then to a % split and that will be that. Lots of talk about our 2 cars both of which are in his business's name - the fact that he kept the luxury BMW and left me and the kids with the old banger that has since broken down.
Once again he refused to supply any financial details to back up his claims, arguing that he did not have the time or resources to pander to 'my curiosity' (he really said this!) about our financial history.
On some other matters, he was loopy. Often he was scathing and rude. He would not look me in the eyes. I tried to force him to by keeping my gaze directly at him from time to time. If he did eventually look at me, he held gaze for only a second and then turned away. He was also paler than i have ever see a breathing human to be. White as a ghost throughout.
I stayed pretty calm, but dissolved into tears at one point when I managed to steer the conversation to my current financial plight: this fortnight's pay cycle sees me $700 short for paying the bills that fall due (most of which stbx ran up) even before i have bought any food or petrol. As the mediator pointed out to me after the session when he asked to speak to me alone: I am in a pretty desperate situation, financially. He said stbx had clearly 'dudded me'.
Given that mediators are not supposed to take sides, i was briefly buoyed by this stranger's quick assessment of the situation that stbx has left me in. Only hope a judge sees it the same way - because i can't see how this complicated sitch is going to avoid needing a full trial.
Anyway, what was interesting was how stbx behaved afterwards.
He was civil to me as soon as we were alone together after the mediation - waited for me and chatted and walked me to my car. Then we drove back to our respective homes - and as they are just around the corner from each other now, we drove one behind the other all the very long way home. Lots of checking in respective mirrors.
This evening, stbx brought S14 home from school driving OW's convertible Mercedes. S14 told him never to pick him up in her car again.
Then stbx ACTUALLY CAME INTO THE HOUSE - after 2 weeks of dropping the kids in the driveway and pulling straight out again. Thought i had seen a bit of a thaw BUT THEN, i got the following email an hour later:
Hi,
The registration on your car has expired. Can you acknowledge that I have informed you and also let me know what you plan to do with the car?
Thanks
stbx
As i said before, the car has broken down, and with all of his other debts that I have to pay for, i have no money to get it repaired - nor should i take the risk, I figure, while it is still owned by him, technically.
How mad the whole thing is.
I just replied by saying:
Hi STBX, Thanks for letting me know that the registration has expired.
As you know, the car broke down some months ago and we have not been able to use it since then.
Cheers, Name
Hope I am doing OK. Really wish we never had to see him again (unless he changes back, that is!)
