wife wants her space, doesnt know who she is

[mastersolo]

Thanks for the advise! Its nice to have some sort of help through this.

I'm realizing I am having a horrible time with the patience Part. with me not having a job right now all I've Got is my mind all day, and my mind tends to sit there and think how bad I want my family back, especially when I have my S5 talking about his mommy all day. like yesterday my wife called me to ask if she can have the kids a little early so she could take my S5 to a movie. I agree to let her have him because my son really wanted to see wreck it Ralph, when she walked through the door she told my son that he was going to see a movie with her and he got really excited and came up to me and said daddy daddy do you want to come with. I would have loved to go. Or like the other day he asked when mommy was going to be home and I said later today when she's off work and he was like YAY do I get mommy and daddy tonight! it's things like that that really gets me down because I have always been the family dad who loves spending time with his family, I want this to be over with right now. And I want this DBing to work magic. So patients is hard for me I'm really trying to work on it. But ill look at people on here who are still going through the motions 10 months later and I sit here and think "wow how am I going to deal with this for that long" another thing that won't let my mind shut off is that fact of the holidays coming up. on Thanksgiving and Christmas we have always gone to both our families gatherings. so the fact that on Thanksgiving I'm only going to mine is really tearing me apart expescially because I love her family. and we normally do Christmas lights on the house and decorate inside the house together and I'm sitting here thinking about that. I really want this to be settled before Christmas it's almost like a goal of mine. but I'm really trying to tell myself day by day... trying to tell myself to not think of what she is doing or where she is. I feel like I'm a heroin addict trying to come off of heroin only she is my heroin... it's like I'm withdrawing from her. I know that screams codependency but we have been together for so long and had kids at such a young age our entire adult life has been raising the kids together with each other. so introducing the fact of getting a life by myself is very hard for me. she is doing so well at not being with me its like she is so content in out doing your own thing and loving it, Friday she went and got her hair done and went dress shopping for a end of the year work party. she sent me a picture of her hair and she looked absolutely beautiful. I sit here and think I wish I could make her have those thoughts about me. Sorry to ramble this kind of turned into a venting session