"On the "New Private Topic" screen, you can type in a new user then press "add" or you can select them from the "My Buddies" dropdown. You can add up to the forum maximum of users (this limit will show on the "New Private Topic" screen) to the Private Topic."
so i heard a quote today it seem like you are like me in that you make excuses for H behavior at the cost of your own emotional well being.
I have read about detachment here and in db and numerous site but deepak chopra and my church both cover fit today and it was deciding what you want for your self and surrendering the outcome to the universe so that you are will to accept what come in the form it may come in. decide what you want and need out of a relationship and life
focus on the results you want it may come in the form of your husband turning around and making things work or you may learn a new strength and something else will come around for you.
i don't know if what i am saying is making any since.
m: 32 H:33 T:7 M:4
7/12 says he might want out 8/12 find out about ow he wants a D 9/12 he says he loves me not here wants me back 9/12 he pull away 11/12 still separated
MKB: when i said maybe i was wanting permission to stop standing. i think i meant, i can't make the decision (tear in eye) until i know that he wants to give up (yeah i know his actions say that but then he comes back?)
Tori: yes the tears come and go. Fine at work but cried in car alittle on the way home. And crying a bit now. I am blaming my Self. I got all wobbly after the kiss and chased him. I don't know if things would be different now if I hadn't. This is the pattern since he moved out and it crucifies me emotionally. His behaviour was no different before the date - i just wanted more - i should have been cooler. And now he's caving - as soon as he feels he has done something wrong, he vanishes.
Linz: Thanks for your words. I will practice putting what I want "out there" and allow whatever happens to deliver it.
Journalling Nothing from H and some moments it's fine and others it isn't. I am back where i was when i joined the board in September and I had come such a long way from sadness and desperation. So far this year "caving" has occurred FEB,JUN,JUL,SEP,NOV. I wonder how this stress is manifesting in my body?
I don't know why I can't close the door and move on. Wendylon is right - it's the things he doesn't do that hurt me the most. And it's those things that Tumbling needs - i need regular contact /time w my husband - and when I don't get them i freak out.
I am really cross w my Self for not listening to everyone here and continuing to pursue/initiate. Here I am blaming my Self again.
I so need to get back to my happy place. I also want to be ready if he contacts me - good morning Tumbling Punkydo - ! So far I have drafted the following replies
1) whatever - said like this "what-evaaaaaaa" 2) if that's all you've got to offer, i think i'll pass 3) No replies to start with and if he persists - If you want to be in my life, commit to acting like a husband. Otherwise please leave me alone. Your choice"
What do you think?
I know it's about time I took a stand for my Self and walk on. In the meantime, I'll sit on the blanket
"On the "New Private Topic" screen, you can type in a new user then press "add" or you can select them from the "My Buddies" dropdown. You can add up to the forum maximum of users (this limit will show on the "New Private Topic" screen) to the Private Topic."
Maybe this will do it!
Maybe so but I can't see how to create a new private topic nor create a buddy list!
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
Its ok to be sad on the blanket. All emotions are accepted. :-) Stay on the blanket though. Stay. Don't worry about possible responses right now. Don't be cross with yourself. Lets just sit. And look at the amazing view of the ocean. Ill pour you a drink. Its calm. And you are doing amazing.
((((( )))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thanks Labug, Busting and SS (I like 3 best too) If I am in denial then it seems he is too, otherwise why does he keep coming back around? Whatever. This so has to STOP. Every time it "ends" it feels like him leaving all over again. He has absolutely NO IDEA of what I go through when he does this. I have to keep my Self safe now. As much as I want him to be the man I fell in love w (he could express his needs then Labug), he isn't anymore and perhaps I did that to him Whatever. I promised my Self when he did this (went silent on return from his trip) 3 Sep that I would NOT ALLOW my Self to come to this sad little corner again.
Response 3 amended: If you want to be in my life, commit to acting like a husband and to joint counselling. Otherwise please leave me alone. Your choice"
Headstate - abit sad but ok
Whatever. I promised my Self when he did this (went silent on return from his trip) 3 Sep that I would NOT ALLOW my Self to come to this sad little corner again.