Hi MKB. Thanks for dropping in. I don't know if it was hope. The beginning of the text was about wanting him to stop making me feel bad (i know it's my reaction to his behavior - not h - but...)- the end of the text? well, looking back it was about asking permission to stop standing. Goodness i'm messed up if I can't just drop the rope.
Now the tears are tumbling again. Never mind. They are only tears. You're right - I can't work out what is best for me when he is around me. I've demonstrated that recently.
Headstate - neutral