KD, you're a much more "zen"-type thinker than I am. I think I'm much more simple/linear than you. Too many years doing binary computer work, perhaps. I wish I could glean everything you're trying to tell me. I'm sure you're still helping others with your posts, even if I'm not grasping all of it, so thanks for posting. I'll try to respond to at least a few things.
As I said previously in regard to the ADD, no, I don't think he does his stuff on purpose. I don't think he was intentionally disrespecting me when he didn't check the homework. But knowing it's a problem (ADD) and not addressing it and seeking a remedy is his choice, and that choice directly affects me. Knowing how it affects me and not doing anything about it is disrespectful to me, and that manifests itself in the daily stuff. So the disrespect is secondary but real. If I got myself sloshing drunk, then killed someone driving home, I could honestly say that it was not my intention to kill them. However, it was my intention to get sloshing drunk and drive, knowing full well killing someone is a good possibility. My intentions in that scenario hardly make me innocent and are rather irrelevant frankly, especially to the person/family that is dead.
As to the weekend away, my shift in attitude is not a surprise. People go on vacation all the time, to get away, to rejuvenate, to relax and pretend for a while, to leave the problems behind for a time. And then the vacation ends and they go back to life exactly as they left it. Vacations are wonderful, but temporary. Reality is full-time, and it bites.
Ah, the love debate. Line that up with forgiveness, loyalty, honesty, sacrifice, faith, etc. I hear your perspective but I'll pass on a discussion of it. People much smarter than I have debated that, endlessly, and without consensus. I'll just say that I see a distinction between loving someone and living with them.
