The book below I found would be the perfect guide to how bring me happiness. It explains perfectly how my life works and what is required to make it whole. If my wife did the things that are RECOMMENDED in this book, I would have a permanent smile on my face. Unfortunately, I can't imagine how any LD/ND female could EVER handle the suggestions in this book. It will definitely be a loooooong reach for a ND female.
In marriages, the LD spouse is basically ALWAYS in control, and this REALLY bothers the HD spouse. Some men refer to this as like "Going to the Candy store and begging Mommy for a piece of Candy. Mommy holds all the power". Eventually the man's own pride kicks in and they stop "Begging" for it. This is when "Growing Apart" truly kicks in. To put it bluntly, when us HD guys ask for attention, we eventually give up asking and move on. He sounds like MOST men in his situation, his need is NOT being met, but rather then bring it up anymore, he has just GIVEN up and is now crawling back into his cave(this is what guys do).
What to do:
First, know that this is NOT about sex or the acts themselves, it is about YOUR desire to do them. MEN HATE TO BE PATRONIZED. Intimacy and sex can happen any time, but they are ONLY FULLFILLING when BOTH partners WANT it!!! DESIRE IS EVERYTHING, not the acts themselves. Kiss your man many times a day, with an occasional Passionate kiss each day. Pat him on the butt. Come up behind him and run your hands across his chest. Press your body against him. LINGER, LINGER, LINGER! Be willing to touch him EVERYWHERE at anytime, try to sneak in this fondling IN PUBLIC, to let him know you are thinking of him.
As far as sex, if your husband wants sex 3 times a week, make sure to at least get in twice a week. Now here is the real problem with LD's having sex, they don't LINGER. They want to get it done so they can role over and get back to sleep. FORGET THE SLEEP! You need to have a seesion of love making every week where you linger over the sex, meaning that it should take a hour or two, not 10 minutes. ML, then caress, then ML again, then caress, then ML again, etc.. There might even be a surprise in this for you, in between the ML, you could have some UNBELEIVABLE conversations with your husband while you hold the most important 6 inches of his manhood in your hands. Men are intimate conversationalists AFTER sex, not before. Literally, you will be holding his MANHOOD in your hands. Become BEST friends with it (the book above helps on this).
Initiae sex with him, a lot. If he asks for sex and your just not in the mood, do not say no, only set up a time in the NEAR future to actually get together for it. When you say no, you are completely rejecting him as a person in his eyes, even if he does not realize it at that time. NEVER, EVER make on that you are only doing ANY of these things to just please him. That means in words OR body language. If I ML to my wife when I know she is only doing this to please me, SHE GETS NO BROWNIE POINTS FROM ME. But when SHE initiates and does these things because she wants to, THESE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS OF MY MARRIAGE. It is an unbelievable EGO boost to me.
Something else I have seen with my wife, is that they seem to think in terms of weather THEY want to have sex. I as the HD man, see the pleasure I receive from sex as SECONDARY. My true pleasure is derived from giving my wife orgasams, not my own. A man's self worth is measured by how he can please a woman sexually (It's in the book). This is why men feel so rejected by LD spouses, as we see them as NOT wanting to give us the ultimate, the most intense, the most initmate pleasure imaginable. We don't care hoo good you are at these things, we just want you to enthusiastically please us.
One other thing that I think is VERY important. Sleep NAKED every night and cuddle with your man. If you can't be naked in bed with the hubby, how can either of you be open with each other? You need lot's of NAKED, NON-SEXUAL time together. This is especially helpful to show the woman that the guy can be very open with her, while NOT wanting sex, and it helps to release the OXYTOXINS(sp?) in both of their bodies. I REALLY miss this with my wife.
Let's face it, most men want wives that are "Christian Sluts". They want women that act very "Slutty", but only for them.
P.S., there is a book "Secrets About Women Every Man Should Know" that should be required reading for all HD guys out there. Funny how the guide for women is twice as many pages, with larger pages, with much smaller print. I would guess that the instuctions on how to reach our ladies is 4 times longer then the Man's user guide above. I have read it once, but I am going to read it again, make some highlights, maybe even take some passages and post them around the house to REMIND me of what to do (and not to do).
