Corri, I applaud your efforts to please your husband. I read the posts that every one posted and felt everyone made good points. I was hurt for you though that he did not show interest and enthusiam for your project. That was like not wanting to make love to you! I had a big project going a few years ago at my former job and sometimes he was very disinterested and I took that as a rejection of me!!
Anyway - ways to please him outside the bedroom:
I like to cook very special meals for him and serve it to him along with his drink, napkin, fork and knife - his own personal servant. I myself get pleasure from doing this - it is not something he demands/expects me to do but I do it because I like to "spoil" him.
I watch his favorite TV programs with him and discuss them with him. I know more about motorcycles than I ever thought I would - and golf too. I try to share in the things that he feels passionate about. He likes to play blackjack and he watches some of that on cable occassionally. I ask him questions about blackjack and I couldn't really care less - I am not a gambler - but he enjoys it (and he wins! and shares it with me - I got a Ben Franklin 3 weeks ago!!! Yea for me - was not as good as sex but it was ok!) Anyway - my point is that I try to share his own special interests with him.
He absolutely adores lemon squares from Starbucks - when I go for a latte I always bring him home 3 for a treat. I tease him that I am going to eat part of one just to tease him and got chased around the kitchen yesterday - that was nice - it is just a little game we play.
I will rub his back for him, run my fingers through his hair, tell him I think he hasn't changed a bit in 25 years - that to my eyes he is still the 24 year old stud muffin I met in 1979.
I will send him e-mails that that end with "all my love". I call him at work just to ask him how his day is going and if he would like something special for dinner.
Back before LD entered - I would ask him what he wanted for dessert and he knew I wasn't talking about cheesecake!
If he is outside working in the yard I will trot out there with something cold to drink or at night I will make him his tea that he likes to drink.
I guess in some ways it is like being his own little gisha girl but I do it because I want to - I like pampering him.
These are little non-sexual ways of saying I love you to my husband. Hope this helps some - I have enjoyed your posts and feel you have so much to offer others.
