Realistic Optimist Hard At Work

[25yearsmlc]

I will keep posting... I will also be looking for an IC.. Even if M doesn't work out I still need to figure this out. W was in tears and she said "Whats it going to take for you to let me in? Are you going to wait till I leave and then figure it out for your next R? Why would you want to do that when I am still here right now?"

Sigh...

First, let's start when she says "why won't you let me in?" by you saying you are NOT OKAY WITH A SEXLESS MARRIAGE AND A ROOMIE RELATIONSHIP...

you'll give her some time BUT you have a time LIMIT too, like any h would...

and second,

Look up the website of an INDIVIDUAL personal growth workshop called "Essential Experience" (= "EE") and make the time to go. Yes it cost money but it's about 3 years of IC in one long weekend and you'll leave with an action plan. And it's the same price today that it was 20 years ago.

I went years ago. Not so much for my m, but for other family issues, including childhood stuff still affecting me, and career guidance, etc...

it was profoundly life changing & I finished with an Action Plan for my life, which I've largely followed since and which is VERY different than my previously made not so happy plan.

I changed So much that when I got off the plane to come home, h noticed a visible change in me that minute. He continued to see changes in me... A few months later, HE went and HE changed and then we went together.

we Unlocked a lot. We Felt closer than ever...if it weren't for that time, I would not have bothered to DB for as long as I did.

Several DBers have attended and they all said it clarified things for them. And gave them a sense of peace.

Your other option is to go TOGETHER (if she will), to Retrovaille. I found it helpful, but you need her to go with you.

And the issue you have is not just a marital issue and imo, you ought to seriously consider EE....it's not that expensive when you consider what it'll save you.

And if it improves your life half as much as it helped mine, you'll never have spent money in a better way.