Unsure Where Marriage Is Headed

[leopoldstotch]

Can a mod kindly delete this thread my W found it and I'd like it gone thx

[oldtimer]

I hope she realizes how lucky she is to have a husband who cares about her so deeply. Finding this thread should eliminate any question about that. You are passionate about saving your M. You are committed to being a better husband, provider, and lover. You want a thriving, vibrant, passionate M. Maybe the two of you can work together on that, now that it is all in the open that you want it too.

I suggest you BOTH read 5 Love Languages. You love each other, but you aren't feeling loved. Something is getting lost in translation. Every couple should read that book.

[25yearsmlc]

Went to IC last night it was my 2nd session and on the way home my W asks me how it went and what was said. I told her I didn't want to discuss anything over the phone. Well this apparently this made my W feel that someone was in my truck with me since I won't talk on the phone when others are in my truck with me. I get home and she asks if I even went to IC then asks who was in my truck, well nobody was, lol.

1) why didn't you just reassure her that you were alone? Why do you write "lol" also? I never get that and I do stand up comedy. I mean, where is the joke? I'm serious...is it a nervous habit that you are doing or what?

And is the IC some Top Secret thing? Why not share what you can?

So, anyhow, just make it clear to her with direct communication, that you were alone, period.


Fast fwd to this morning and she asks what was discussed and I was vague about it which did not make her happy.

is this a power thing or what? Why aren't you communicating with her more? She's asking...I don't get it.


She was also questioning me about who I'm going out with tonight and where am I going. She also commented on me being upbeat asking if the IC told me to be this way.
I guess the fact that I'm GAL and working on myself is getting to her?

See above...while there are "game" dimensions to this, it's not supposed to be a game you try to WIN if it means there's a loser...make sense?

[25yearsmlc]

I would say she is rewriting history. As far as not being the affectionate type I would say she was right about that. I've given it a lot of thought and the only time I would be that way towards her was when I wanted S.

so then, she's right about you not being affectionate with her? B/c foreplay isn't affection, it's foreplay.

You might want to read the Five Love Languages b/c I think it's great for all couples, esp though when you both clearly have different love languages.

In short, she does NOT feel loved by you. Her "Love tank" is empty...or at least she feels it is.

Do you get that?

So you have to speak in HER love language, NOT more of yours, but more of hers...