Tommorow my wife is bringing a moving van and her friends to move the big items out of our home and into her apartment. We have until the end of the month to be out of our townhouse. Obviously I will not be around since these friends are part of the reason things are they way they are and it breaks my heart to see her leave. But i am so confused. I spoke to her the other day about coordinating for this weekend and she was pleasant. spoke about her work stress, restated she had fun with me last time I saw her and stated that I can "call her" and I am not "a bother". All of this from the girl who left me after our vacation! On top of it all she wants to go half on a storage shed. I am so hurt and confused. Anybody have any feedback?
Would you care to outline what it was and how you are doing with following it?
Have you read anything about detachment? What are you doing for YOU?
Her moving out is not the END. It may be good to help create space between you. This stuff is very counterintitive. Lower your expectations, and buckle up for a very long marathon. This is not a sprint and you must conserve your energy.
My Advice from the DB counselor was to not initiate contact, but If i did see or speak to her have it be as pleasant of a experience as possible. Move on with my life and show her what she is missing.
I have not read anything about detachment yet but im guessing I need to do that at some point.
As for me I have joined a gym and increased my time hanging out with friends and family. I nearly stopped talking about my relationship problems with my friends and save that for a few specific members of my family. I cannot do a whole lot becasue I am basically responsible for the entire move. She is serisouly neglecting any type of responsilbity in this area.
The move did not go great. She took things that we did not agree on that she should take. It was very obvious that she was trying to cause some harm and I am not sure why. She continues to blow off helping me even when she suggest to do so.
I am just really confused. There really seems to be two versions of my wife.
