My h's depression is causing him to sink into his most deperate and worse "self." He had a negative slant to most every situation - work, finances, life, etc. And it is a vicious downward spiral... the more he focused on how awful everything was, the more overwhelmed he would become, and therefore more hopeless.

It became so clear to me that his negative "doom and gloom" was not based on much reality or truth.

I realized we were wasting energy at even discussing those issues at that particular moment in time because his perceptions were so skewed. How can you attempt to "fix" problems when they are so blown out of proportion? So I continued to just put the focus back on my purpose in the intervention. I told him that I would be happy to discuss these issues that were weighing him down in a month or so, after the meds had a chance to really kick in.

I say that to say, I don't think you (we, us, anyone) can get anywhere if the other person in the r is not in their "right mind," whether under the influence of alcohol, clinical depression, or on a high from their involvement in an affair. The other person has to make the decision to quit the excessive drinking, get on some anti-depression meds, or break off the A, or whatever, in order to make judgements based on reality.

And, ironically enough, after the meds for depression, about 90% of his overwhelming "problems" do not exist now.

These are well put words that say exactly what I have been living with for a few yrs now. IF only I could get my H on the meds the C wants to put him on, I know he would have clarity just as the C says.

But, instead I'm lossing my will to be with him. Turning away from him, thinking of my life without him, because he puts forth know effort.

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!