Searching, trying - still going, but how?

[25yearsmlc]

KG meant to say you ARE NOW A MOTHER FIRST and all else second...

and Bklyn Mom, I totally believe that many WAS are So invested in being right.

The more guilt they feel OR the more they face the criticism of their families, the more they MUST BE HAPPIER now...or else....they were wrong.

And that can't happen.

My older sister's ex h left her for OW and it did not work out. So he met another OW and married her.

My sister also remarried. A few weeks before her new marriage, her ex h called her to say he realized HE had effed up and "gets it now", etc.

I told her to savor all that. Most LBSers never get to hear it.

BUT the thing is, til he told her that, she thought he was "Much happier" b/c htat is what he told everyone.

Now, years later he and his "new" wife are in counselling, again...and he told my sister, HIS ex wife

that "THIS marriage HAS to work...." or it'll mean HE's the problem...


my sister sighed. They have 3 kids. If only he had worked THIS hard on THAT marriage...but alas, he did not.

And in truth, my sister is happier with her "new" h of 11 years now, than she ever could have been with her first h.

Why? B/C her ex h would not have improved with her. He's a selfish man. He can only learn hard lessons the hardest way...and inflict pain on others. Even as he complained to her, it was all about HIM and what HE lost, not what he did to her or the kids.

Whereas Her new h gets her. He really treasures her. And she loves how it feels to finally be THE priority in someone else's life. She said "now that" she knows "what that's like", she'd "never go back to what she had with her first m".