SG it sounds like your W is doing a temperature check on where you are at. Now I'm no expert but from reading other stories it could be possible that if she felt she was going to lose you it could really make her realize that its not something she wants of course it could go the other way. It also sounds like she is happy with the status quo. I'm not totally convinced that she isn't getting pull from the OM. Then again you really dont know the sitch with him.
Play your cards right and I think you can draw her back to you but you must be strong and confident around her. I have a feeling that one day you may get tired of living in limbo and when you are truly ready to move on and she knows that you that she would have a change of heart. Of course I hope it doesn't get that far for the two of you but sometimes thats what it takes.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out