I'm sure others will chime in, but here's my take. I don't think your H is being real fair about this. Here, I think, is his thinking: 1. When he tries to initiate, and you say no, you are controlling. 2. When he tries to initiate, and you say yes, you are controlling. 3. When you initiate (I assume this happens sometimes) and he says yes, it is still you controlling, because it happened when you started the whole process. 4. When you initiate, and he says "no," well, Hell freezes over...right? Because he'll never say "no." Us HDers are like batteries, because we're Eveready, and we'll keep goin and goin. HOWEVER...this is the only situation in which he will ever consider himself in the controlling position. So, maybe you need to go through all these with him, see if he agrees. Then, later, you initiate and have him say no to you....and then, later in the day or week, have him initiate, and you say yes.
I don't know how often you guys have sex, or how mutually fun it is between you, but assuming that it's more than twice a month, and that it's above a 7 on a 1-10 scale, I think he's complaining too much. What I wouldn't give to have that!
The thing about sex and HDers is that the less we have it, the more we want it, and the more we have it, the more we want it. We want more. We want better. We want we want we want we want we want .... get it? Okay, here's another take. To a starving man, everything looks like a sandwich. I had sex twice last year with my W. Everything looks like boobs...except certain things that look like vaginas. But, you said that initiating sex to an LD person is like trying to eat a 7 course mean when you're not hungry? Well, after a 7 course meal, an HD person just wants more (after a few minutes for us older guys, anyway).
I know...it sounds like an addiction. But it's no more an addiction to sex than "LDness" is an addiction to non-sex.
Just remember what everyone has been saying about how us HDers feel loved, and how we want to show you that you are loved. It is by touch and by intimate contact.
And Corri, the women are almost always the "gatekeepers" in control of that. Just ask LDWife. You think any men would write in complaining about waking up with their wives astraddle them? And call it rape? There may be men out there who might feel that way, but it's unlikely they would tell anybody about it. Women = control, especially in the HD Male vs. LD Female context.
