Maybe I shouldn't have posted so much information here - I don't know I was just in a melancholy mood and I decided to post it - I think it might have been a mistake.

Oh well anyway to answer your questions T2

>>>>>>>>>>What do you mean here by "left her alone"?<<<<<<<<<<<

Yes I left her alone because I stopped talking to her and making or relationship a priority.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>So a few posts ago you were thinking of looking elsewhere because you're rolling in on 50 and want more kids? I'm confused...<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I didn't want more kids but now that my son is getting bigger and I am not afraid of being able to provide for more kids (this was a big fear) I want to have 1 or 2 more kids.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>As 25 pointed out, what version of things did you tell the coach? Coaches, therapists, forums can only help as far as anyone is willing to tell the whole story, know what I mean? Advice given on half information is half as useful sorta thing...And as far as the therapist, I am surprised that they didn't have a couple/few sessions with you to get both sides of the story before recommending some course of action, but that is just my opinion.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

She knows even more detail than here - she knows about mine and my wifes family as well.

>>>>>>>>>>>>And rolling back to an earlier question about your male role models...how about your heroes? Some of mine were, in no particular order, Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Engineer Scotty, John Wayne, Clark Gable, Humphrey Bogart, Hawkeye Pierce, Jim Morrison, William Blake, Albert Camus, and on and on...my point was, pick one and ask yourself, "How would manly {insert role model here} handle this?"<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I don't know how Tom Selleck in Blue Bloods would handle this exactly but I know he wouldn't quit as of yet so I am not ready to throw in the towel.

I have also with the help of my psychotherapist stopped "idealizing" my relationship my wife. She makes me see that everything with my wife was not perfect even though that's all I tend to remember now. My wife is selfish and her family dynamic is selfishness - she told me that a person is 90% there family so that is something I consider now.

This is a tough month we got engaged on 11/24 which we always celebrated and 11/30 is our 10th wedding anniversary - what the hell do I do about that !!! My inlaws are gonna be here from 11/21 till 12/21 my FIL and I are redoing the kitchen.

Some interested pursuit/distance stuff. Last night when I came home I walked in my wife was awake and I didn't say hello to her she didn't acknowledge me - went to bed didn't say GN to her she didn't acknowledge me - left for gym this morning didn't say hello to her she didn't acknowledge me - came home from gym didn't say hello to her - she didn't acknowledge me - this morning went up to shower got dressed came downstairs she was working in the kitchen - she finally broke and said it's gonna be nice to have more space for things in the kitchen. I said sure will - then I was leaving for work kissed my boy and said goodbye to him - she said wait I have to ask you something - but didn't remember what it was -- so by me ignoring her she comes closer - weird - weird

Thanks for your help and insight T2 !!!

Sunny

If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it.
I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!