Thanks all! So he did come over here. It was weird. As always. Weird in that he says he is afraid of me. Basically he was saying he wants to work (under the table) and still get his disability. He knows that is not acceptable to me. Frankly, because I then would be guilty of fraud. In the state of KY that could of course bar me from a nursing license and I take that and my future very seriously especially now. So he says I can't even work because of you. I said actually, you can't work because you are supposed to be disabled. If you feel you can work then you are welcome to contact Social Security and let them know and go back to work. I would be happy to work with you on child support. Again, he says I can't work because of you. One of the things he is mad about is money.
Yesterday I believe was an excuse to contact me. It could have waited until today or really any time .
He came in- I had forgotten about my flowers on the table. He checked those out. Then he sort of tried to walk back through the house like he was looking to see what if anything was different and that sort of thing. Our house is your typical 80's brick ranch with the long hallway and bedrooms off it. It was obvious to me that was what he was doing.
Really the only thing I said to him before he left was that I am not his enemy. Which really that is the role he has me pegged in. I didn't follow him around. Didn't ask any questions except the one about him being afraid. I only asked because the kids didn't want to leave and he kept insisting they go up to his dads. Finally, I said are you afraid of me or something? Then he said that about the disability.
Ruby- The only things I have paid are things which pertain to the kids and I (utilities, dish, water, that sort of thing) as far as joint accounts the only one is my car payment. I have been paying because H is irresponsible. He always has been. All of the things that are in his name only I have turned over to him. I had already pretty much done his budget and know how much he has left over. Essentially- none. She will be paying for him - especially now that he is behind. No idea how in the world he will even afford to get them a Christmas gift. Basically, I have always done the bulk of the providing and the budget. All of it. He had no idea. Even while in school I worked full time and went to school full time and then tried to take care of kids, him, and the house. No wonder I was resentful. Anyway, so he had no clue about his finances. I guess it's not the perfect world away that he imagined. I also bet that closer to Christmas he starts really reconsidering due to money. Money is important to him. Very important and frankly there were times that he made me feel so inadequate that I didn't make enough because he couldn't buy something he wanted. He grew up with quite a bit of money and never really learned to fend for himself and actually take care of himself financially.
I on the other hand grew up very poor so can pinch a penny til it bleeds. lol I have also always always worked until this past summer when it was decided that I would stop working and we could "get by" for this last year of my schooling. Apparently, he resented that decision too.
So here we are now. Money is the current issue and for him his situation is not likely to change unless he chooses to go back to work full time. Otherwise, he will have to depend on OW to take care of him and I really don't think she makes that much money. Last I heard she was a cashier at a gas station. lol. I shouldn't laugh. There is no shame in honest work. I guess I laugh because I feel like there is shame in being content with that and never trying to do better.
So that was the day. He did come up here and get the a/c he had left sitting on my deck and put them into storage. Seems he is sort of back to doing things. He also stopped by the store and got me a thing of baby oil to clean off the brazilian hair wax D12 got all over my bathroom. I did call and ask him to get it though. I didn't think he really would but he agreed. Anyway, it was a sticky nightmare. I am happy to report I can actually touch things in there again. lol Never a dull moment I can say that for it, if nothing else.
