I hear you KD, isn't that all of our problems? We're too close, too involved, too emotional because it's all so personal. I see many times here when someone can give someone else advice to do something, while admitting they haven't done well with it themselves. It's always easier to see someone else's actions than your own. How to distance yourself enough to be able to see your own sitch is the mystery.
I will always work on myself in some form or fashion. I think that's as much an intentional thing we do (ie. I'm going to go take a class) as it is how we respond to life's events (ie. THAT hurt, I'll do that differently next time.) Daily living is full of opportunities to learn and improve if one is open to it.
I agree that other people might see H's actions as positive whereas I don't. Isn't that just because everyone is different? Some people are homebodies, others are very social. Neither is right or wrong, but it's hard to make the two opposing preferences jive.
The only thing I take issue with what you said is that it's all about me and my positive changes. KJM asked, "So I suppose part of the question is what is your part in the dynamic and how does that affect his behavior." There are two people in a M. It's hard to ignore the behavior of the other without removing oneself from the R entirely.
