It speaks to the many number of us "rescuers" and "fixers" that there are out there, such that this story line makes for a successful series. "House" is similar, with a grumpy, emotionally messed up doctor. Doesn't have the scenery, unfortunately.
Frankly, I think it's great that you recognized the "script."
Nothing new here. I haven't heard from H. So apparently his need to do nothing has overcome his need to "get things settled".
Am I surprised? No. He'll wait for me to assume my old role as The Expeditor.
I did have to email him about arrangements for him to pick up our sons on T-giving day. We are all going to be out-of-town in the same town and the sons won't have a car to go meet him so he has to pick them up.
He didn't respond.
I had some anger this past week but at the same time I feel sad for him, he's so uncomfortable. I know someone will say, and rightly so: Mind-reading.
But he is unsettled, because when I communicate with him it forces him to have some kind of feeling, an emotion that he then has to stuff.
Not a happy way to live.
Agree. But I understand what that feeling is as well, when H says something that triggers my need to explore, dissect and fix NOW, the R. H is a stuffer and just retreats further.
I, too, have the Expeditor role. Now I refuse. I just put a list of reminders in a package and he can do it or not. Of course, it is not as important as making sure babies have a ride, but I probably would have organized my way into a divorce by now, if I hadn't had the good fortune to be here!
Bug- Do you find he is resentful of you getting to feel those emotions?
I don't know. That's his problem. I was talking to a friend last night about what AlAnon had taught me, and the greatest lesson was learning what problems are mine. And that gets reinforced here.
GAL:
I went to dinner at a friends house last night. There were 10 people at the table and we laughed so hard. I haven't had that much fun in a long time. Except for the daughters of the hosts, we were all in the same "age demographic" and talked a lot about music and movies we remembered from growing up. It then happened that whenever anyone would say something that brought to mind a lyric, we would break out in song! It was hilarious.
All of us singing and swaying to Que Sera, Sera was the highlight.
Hope you all had some GAL fun!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Excellent GAL bug!!! Sounds like a great great time!! I am happy you enjoyed it!
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I'm so happy you had such a great night, Bug! It sounds so much like my weekend away last weekend, sans the singing at the table. But the deep laughter and ladies of the same demo. It just feels soooo good! (**Insert bad joke about being better than sex and lasts longer too....**)
Put it on your calendar to do every month! You deserve it!
