CV, my submission here is, you are too close to this.
IOW, you look at change in you as needing to directly translate into positive change you want in your H.
Right now, keep making positive changes for yourself, regardless of your H's reaction.
WRT your H, ignore the negative (which are only negatives to you, others may very well see his behaviour as positive) and encourage the positive (if and when it happens).
This is all about YOU and YOUR positive changes. Make it so. Gauge any results in the R in a month or so.
